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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010683">In Your Arms</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyexrie/pseuds/Nyexrie'>Nyexrie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff and Smut, Dream have ADHD and Depression, Dream's POV, Florida boy likes to create paintings, Friends to Lovers, Internal Conflict, M/M, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, SPECIFIC CONTENT AND TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THE NOTES OF EACH CHAPTER, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, The author has ADHD so please be patience</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:08:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyexrie/pseuds/Nyexrie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>'A possible historical source for Ophelia is Katherine Hamlet, a young woman who fell to the River Avon and drowned in May 1579. Although it was concluded that the young woman went out of balance while carrying a lot of weight, rumors at the time indicated that she suffered from amorous disillusionment which had led to his suicide... '</p><p>Dream stopped reading to process the information while listening to the music that reached his ears through the headset... Recently he had been interested in Ophelia's paintings, he thought it was just as beautiful as the painters portrayed his death. </p><p>In other words, Dream wants to become Ophelia.<br/>--<br/>Inspired by the song In your arms by Ashley Serena &amp; Ryan Louder.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; GeorgeNotFound &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 01. Wind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first time posting a fic on AO3, I heard the song "In your arms" by Ashley Serena &amp; Ryan Louder a time ago and immediately fell in love. Please take the time to listen to it if you haven't already! I'm excited and hope you enjoy it! :)<br/>And Please do not pass around pdfs, plagiarized versions, or upload my work to other sites. I will delete it.<br/>Having already said what I should say, I wish you a good reading! :)</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mentions: Panic attacks</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><b><em>On the calm black water where the stars are sleeping White Ophelia floats like a great lily; Floats very slowly, lying in her long veils... - In the far-off woods you can hear them sound the mort.  </em></b>- Ophelia by Arthur Rimbaud.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> The room was taken by the almost complete darkness, with only the delicate light of the screens of the monitors that illuminated what they could reach, this includes Dream, which was facing the thousands of open pages of Google. They all had the same thing in common: <em> Ophelia</em>.</p><p> The Wikipedia page was the one above all and he focused on reading, not once, not twice, but several times.</p><p> </p><p> <em> 'A possible historical source for Ophelia is Katherine Hamlet, a young woman who fell to the River Avon and drowned in May 1579. Although it was concluded that the young woman went out of balance while carrying a lot of weight, rumors at the time indicated that she suffered from amorous disillusionment which had led to his suicide... ' </em></p><p> </p><p> Dream stopped reading to process the information while listening to the music that reached his ears through the headset... Recently he had been interested in Ophelia's paintings, he thought it was just as beautiful how the painters portrayed the poor woman's death. </p><p><strike> <em> Always serene... Sleeping on the water, like a mermaid</em></strike>; Dream thought as he settled into his chair.</p><p> Moving the mouse towards one of the thousands of open guides, until you find the one that had a clearer image of one of the thousands of versions of the painting; The colors and details always catch his eye.</p><p>"<em>I'm jealous of you Ophelia...</em>" Dream whispered to nothing, still completely lost in his deepest thoughts. He hadn't noticed that Discord had notified a call.</p><p> Completely focused on finding out more about Ophelia, he continues his exploration through the story of the poor woman who had drowned because of a broken heart.</p><p>Dream still didn't know about her fascination with Ophelia's story. Must it be because of a documentary he must have seen on tv? Or... Is it because of <em>that?</em></p><p> Just to think that his body shivered completely... But he didn't want to get too deep into this old and painful memory. After all, it had to do with his last relationship, which he tried to forget completely.</p><p>"Focus Clay... <em>focus</em>... just breathe... breathe and calm down.. <em>calm down</em>.." Dream mumbled while trying to avoid the shaking that started in his hands. </p><p> Quickly rising from his chair, Dream snatched the headset from his ears and practically stumbled towards the door; heading as fast as he could to the bathroom at the end of the hall while he felt shortness of breath take over his lungs, his trembling hands started to get wet from sweat, his chest ached from the rapid beating of his heart and the world rotate around it completely blurry.</p><p>
  <b>Panic attack.</b>
</p><p> Dream allowed himself to lean against the wall and slide until he reached the cold floor while he felt the hot and salty tears tracing a path down his face. Breathless sobs escaped his throat as he hugged his knees to see if his body trembled soothed, to see if the despair that memory had made him feel again as if it were the first time he saw that painful scene again.</p><p><strike> <em> Why right now?!</em></strike>, He screamed in his mind, when another wave of tears came over his being.</p><p> Closing his eyes and taking a hand to his mouth with great difficulty to stifle a painful cry. The images come into your mind, allowing more hiccups to escape your lips.</p><p><strike> <em> It hurts... It hurts a lot</em></strike>, He thought, trying to calm down. </p><p> Opening his eyes blurred by tears, his gaze falls quickly on his cell phone. With his hands still shaking, he picks it up, then awkwardly unlocking the screen and going to his contacts. </p><p>
  <strike> <em> Found it... </em> </strike>
</p><p> Clicking on the contact's call icon and placing the phone near his ear, he waits for the person on the other end to answer. What luckily happened, the person was tired, but still answered it.</p><p>"<em>Clay? What... </em>" The person asked with some concern in his voice.</p><p>"Hi, <em> mo</em>-mom.." Dream muttered under his breath as he bit his lip trying to contain his sobs, which was kind of impossible in the situation he was in at that moment.</p><p> He swore that he could hear his mother sit up, which caused a feeling of guilt to start consuming because he woke up no matter what time of the morning. It seemed that his mother could feel what he was feeling because she sighed.</p><p>"Clay... It's okay, <em> I'm here </em> " His mother spoke in a calm but tired tone. "Nothing is going to happen to you, <em>okay?</em> How about we count to ten?"</p><p> Dream denied it as if she could see him at that moment, gathering courage he asks:</p><p>"<em>Ca</em>-can you sing for me?" Dream asked sheepishly. "That song you always sang before... You know what..."</p><p> The silence was what he received in return, he was going to start apologizing to his mother when a song reached his ears, which started to calm him down.</p><p> The song was beautiful... A small smile formed on his face as his mother's beautiful voice invaded his ears, thus calming the storm that was inside him.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> Dream had spent an entire hour talking to the mother, which was great for allowing his emotions and fears to calm down. Now he was lying on his bed, patting Patches while he waited for sleep to come; Which didn't take too long, carrying him to the dimension of dreams, as the wind beat against the window, making hissing sounds.</p><p> His dreams about the bluish waves and the hot Florida sun were interrupted by his cell phone, which beeped as if the world was ending... Irritated by the sound that the cell phone was doing, he groped the nightstand in search of the device, which when he finds it, he takes it towards the face with his eyes half-closed. <em> What the fuck</em>. He stared at the screen in shock.</p><p>
  <b> <em>'Emergency Alert</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Hurricane Warning in this area. Check local media and authorities. -NWS'</em> </b>
</p><p> The rest of the sleep that existed in Dream disappeared the moment he had read the message, which made him throw himself back on the bed allowing a grunt to escape his throat in annoyance at having his sleep disturbed by a damn hurricane. Kicking the blanket with his feet, then getting up and hurriedly leaving his room after putting on his sneakers, grabbing his wallet and his car keys.</p><p> Descending the stairs practically stumbling, he stops when he hears the little meow that calls him... Searching the living room in front of him, he finds Patches on the kitchen counter watching him with his huge innocent green eyes, Dream sighs, and soon a smile forms on his lips.</p><p>"Hungry, girl?" He asked as he ran his fingers through the cat's fur that purred in response, "I think that's a yes..."</p><p> Dream rummaged through the cabinets until he found only a can of cat food, he put the worry aside and went back to concentrating on putting food for Patches; Putting the content in her pot - <em> that one of his subscribers had sent to Patches via the mailbox </em> -, he took the pot to her, thus leaving it in front of the little cat, which began to eat while Dream threw the can away.</p><p>"I'll be right back, <em> okay? </em>" He said as he petted her, sighing. </p><p> Moving away from Patches, he goes towards the garage, but before going to the garage door, Dream passed in front of a mirror and can see how messy his hair was;</p><p> After tidying up with his fingers, checking his clothes, which were just sweatpants and one of his merch sweatshirts, he enters the garage… Feeling his cell phone vibrating in his sweatshirt pocket, he picked it up after getting in the car, it was a message from his mother.</p><p> He smiles at her worried message, after answering he opens the garage door with the control inside the car; After the gate is completely open and the engine starts, he leaves the car on the street, but not before pressing the control again for the gate to close.</p><p>"Boards, food, water..." He quoted in a low voice, and his mind went over to his cat again, "And food for Patches..."</p><p> Stopping the car at a traffic light while waiting for it to open, he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel in anxiety, his mind went back to Ophelia's paintings. What awoke in Dream a memory of when he was still studying, the art classes when he was forced to paint for classroom work that the teacher passed... With that memory in mind and seeing the sign open, he continued to Walmart.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> Dream opened the door and was soon greeted by Patches who meowed towards him and welcomed him. Leaving the bags on the floor beside the door, he watches the cat rubbing against his legs.</p><p>"Hi my love," He smiled as he bent down to make a cart behind the little cat's ears, which made her start purring in response.</p><p> After stroking the soft fur of his only housemate, Dream rested his gaze on her still smiling, "Have I told you how much<em> I love </em> you, Patches?"</p><p> The meowing in response was enough to warm Dream's heart, the same sees her walking away and taking advantage of the cue he takes the bags with food and water, taking them to the kitchen; It had been exactly three days since Dream had been preparing for the hurricane that meteorologists had predicted could be level four, he took advantage of that time to buy painting materials.</p><p> Finishing saving what he bought, Dream made his way to the end of the corridor, opening the door to an empty room until then... Opening the door, he soon found the bags and the easel box in the corner.</p><p>"<em>Okay... </em>" He let his shoulders drop in dismay as he looked at the bags and easel he would have to assemble.</p><p> Sitting on the floor after turning on the light, he starts to empty the bags taking out paints, brushes, spatulas, a palette, thinners, and solvents; But the main and most important part of all, the screens.</p><p> There were six in total that were in two larger bags that were next to the easel. Dream was so distracted checking the purchased material, that he was startled by the cell phone ringing. Looking for the same in the middle of the mess of materials, just hearing the sound play from somewhere... It was starting to make him nervous.</p><p>"Where's <em> is </em> it?!" He exclaimed, searching more in the mess. </p><p> A sparkle caught Dream's attention below some bags, pushing them away and he came across his cell phone... It was George calling.</p><p>"<em>George? </em>" Dream wonders confused, "Wasn't he supposed to be sleeping?" </p><p> Dream, still confused, answers the call, only to hear George's voice asking five hundred times if he is okay.</p><p>"George!" Dream exclaimed, which made the other man remain silent, "Answering your question, <em> I'm fine </em>... But why do you ask me that?"</p><p> The silence was the answer... What started to make Dream worried.</p><p>"<em>Georg- </em>" Dream was cut off by George's shaky voice.</p><p>"Did you look at Twitter today?" George asked in a small voice.</p><p> Dream ran his free hand through his hair, only to let it fall into his lap afterward...</p><p>"No?" Dream asked, already having a bad feeling take hold of his chest, "Why?"</p><p>"I don't want to terrify you but Sapnap saw it," George whispered.</p><p>“You're starting to scare me…” Dream replied, only to hear George become quiet again.</p><p>“Dream, <em> please</em>… Try to stay calm...” George begged.</p><p>"Why do you want me to stay calm, George?!" Dream is starting to get nervous, “Tell me at once what happened on fucking Twitter!!”</p><p> Dream can hear George sigh, and finally, the phrase reaches Dream's ears... Breaking all the mental stability he had until then.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "Your face is all over Twitter..." </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 02. Fear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Empty... That's how Dream felt after the hurricane and seeing what happened on Twitter. A photo, with his face... His face that he was not ready to show to the world, now spread all over the internet.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Vivid nightmare about drowning</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong><em>For more than a thousand years sad Ophelia has passed, a white phantom, down the long black river. For more than a thousand years her sweet madness has murmured its ballad to the evening breeze. - </em></strong>Ophelia by Arthur Rimbaud</p><p> </p><p><em> Empty</em>... That's how Dream felt after the hurricane and seeing what happened on Twitter. A photo, with his face... His face that he was not ready to show to the world, now spread all over the internet.</p><p>It had been days since he appeared in streams or appeared in the SMP... He did not answer calls and messages, mainly those of George and Sapnap; He wanted to isolate himself from the world so much that he changed the status of the discord to invisible, so they wouldn't know when he was online.</p><p>He spent his days staring at one of the canvases that were now on the easel, still completely white. He still didn't have the inspiration and he hadn't painted for a while... That's why at that moment he finds himself at the computer, taking anatomy and painting classes.</p><p>“<em>This is a mistake that most beginners make! </em>” The teacher exclaimed, in the video lesson. </p><p>Dream wrote down the tips that the teacher gave, designed the poses and if he had any doubts he could send an email. The classes lasted half an hour, and he was allowed to review the classes after they were finished... And that was what he did every time, always remaking and remaking the same poses of that class and redrawing poses that he saw in photographs.</p><p>Trying to perfect his line again... To finally be able to get ahead to paint the version he saw of Ophelia.</p><p>Dream was brought back to reality by Patches who had jumped on his lap, he smiled at the little cat. Leaving the pencil and sketchbook aside, he begins to pet behind Patches' ears, who began to purr happily... Watching the cat in more detail, something awakens in him.</p><p>He turns on his cell phone that was three days off, and after finally on he goes to the contacts. When he found the contact, he immediately clicked on the icon to call and placed the phone close to his ear while continuing to stroke Patches' coat with his free hand.</p><p>“<em>Clay?</em>” He can hear his mother's voice... He has a sad smile on his face.</p><p>"Hi, mom... Am I disturbing you?" Dream asked as he watched Patches shift his position on his lap.</p><p>“No, I <em>was</em> even thinking of calling you to check if you were okay…” He can feel the concern taking over her voice.</p><p>"I'm fine, but that's not what I called..." Dream bit his lower lip in a sign of nervousness, "Do you still have those pictures and books about painting that I used in high school?"</p><p>Dream swore he could hear Drista scream in the back of the call, which made him smile when he realized she had asked if he was okay... She was also worried.</p><p>“<em>I</em> think they are in the attic... Why?” Dream focused again on his mother's voice.</p><p>"It's just that I want to be able to remember when I was studying..." Dream explained, watching Patches leave his lap, "I'm thinking of going back to painting"</p><p>Dream's mother gave an exclamation as a sign of complete surprise, after hearing what he had said.</p><p>“What great news, Clay! You haven't done pictures since…” His mother was silent, which started to bother him, “Well, let's forget about it... Will I take the boxes for you tomorrow?”</p><p>"Tomorrow is great mom..." Dream smiled, still a little uncomfortable, Drista said something in the background that he couldn't understand, "What did the little gremlin say that I didn't hear?"</p><p>“She asked if she can come and stay with you for a few days…” The happiness in his beloved mother's voice, which left the feeling of nervousness and guilt spreading through his chest... But letting go of those feelings, Dream prayed so that his voice doesn’t disappear at that moment, “If it won’t bother you... We are in quarantine and she is wanting to spend time with you…”</p><p>"No, <em> i </em>-it’s okay…” Dream has cursed himself internally for his voice to have failed, "It will be great to have her here... I need to have someone other than myself in this house"</p><p>“<em>Clay… </em>” Your mother left the rest of the sentence in the air, which worried Dream, “Drista! Your brother said you can go…”</p><p>Dream swore he heard his sister cry out happily, soon hearing his mother's laughter that soothed his chest that lately was being taken by bad feelings.</p><p>“Then tomorrow I take the boxes and your sister…” Her voice was now calmer, softer... The way she always speaks when she knows he's not well, “And are you taking your medicine right?”</p><p>After his mother said that, his gaze became distant.</p><p><strike> <em> When was the last time I took the antidepressants and Adderall? </em> </strike>, He asked himself silently. </p><p>"<em>Yes...</em>" Dream lied, which caused the guilt to return his chest, "They are up to date... I am taking them normally"</p><p>“Great…” His mother's voice remained calm which only made him feel worse, “Dear, I wanted to talk more, but I have to hang up, after all, I have to go look for the boxes you asked for... I love you”</p><p>"I love you too, mom ..." Dream smiled, saying a <em> “see you soon” </em> and allowing himself to hang up the call, "Damn it..."</p><p>Dream put his phone on the table and stood up, allowing his body to stretch... That's when his phone started to ring.</p><p>"<em>Shit... </em>" He murmured when he saw the name of the contact that was calling him.</p><p>
  <strike> <em> George... </em> </strike>
</p><p>Dream wondered if he should answer or not, he took so long to question himself that the call went to voicemail. With the device in hand again and ready to switch it off, another call. Now the caller was Sapnap, Dream automatically rejected the call and went to the settings, then turning on the <strong> <em>Do Not Disturb </em></strong>mode. Leaving only your Mother and Drista with permission to overcome <strong> <em>Do Not Disturb</em></strong>.</p><p>"<em>Hm... </em>" He headed out of the room and went to the kitchen, determined to cook what he knew, "I could do a drawing stream... But then I would need a graphics tablet"</p><p>Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he put the password and then clicked on the Google application soon researching digitizing tables.</p><p>"<em>Wacom?</em>" He clicked on the website and soon started to see the values of the tables, "I <em>think</em> an Intuos Pro should be enough?"</p><p>He did the purchasing procedures and then blocked the screen, returning to concentrating on making something to eat.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"Are you sure I have made all those paintings?" Dream asked when he saw the screens his mother and sister brought into the house, while he helped carry the boxes with the books.</p><p>"<em>Uhum... </em>" Her mother murmured after placing the last screen against the others near the wall, "Are you sure you don't want me to get rid of the ones that have your ex's face?"</p><p>Dream placed the box on the floor next to the other two, then looking back at his mother... He smiled.</p><p>"No, leave them... After all, they are part of my study" Dream explained while looking into his mother's greenish eyes, which he loves so much, "And if <em>I feel</em> uncomfortable... <em>I</em> can burn them..."</p><p>His mother agreed, after all, this was something that only he could do... After all, it is his life and his choices. </p><p>Dream and Drista said goodbye to their mother who was returning to her car, they stayed at the door until the moment the car turned the corner and they couldn't see anymore... Dream closed the door and looked at his younger sister.</p><p>"McDonald’s?" He asked the youngest, smiling.</p><p>"Yeah!" Drista exclaimed, a smile forming on the younger girl's face.</p><p>For the first time after a few days in complete unhappiness, he begins to feel joy when he realizes the smile that his little sister gives in his direction... Dream laughed and stroked his sister's hair while picking up his cell phone to order a snack.</p><p>"Clay..." He heard Drista call from the living room.</p><p>Removing his gaze from the screen after he has finished placing orders - <em> since he recorded it in his memory so many times that he already ordered snacks for both of them when Drista is going to spend time at his house </em>- he focuses his gaze on his sister, who was at the sitting on the couch and looking at him.</p><p>"Yeah?" He asked, going to join his sister on the sofa, she pointed with the control to the various films in the Disney+ catalog that were showing various movies and series, "<em>Well</em>... You can choose"</p><p>She nodded and looked back at the TV, while Drista was looking for a movie or series for both to see, Dream went back to playing with his cell phone. When a notification appeared, a notification from Twitch.</p><p>
  <b>GeorgeNotFound went live</b>
</p><p>Dream bit his lip in nervousness, then clicked on the notification that immediately directed him to the Twitch app. He soon connected the air-pods and put them in his ears, thus finally hearing not only George's voice... but Sapnap's too.</p><p>A few seconds later the chat started to spam saying that he was there, and he can see George’s smile fade away... Soon he was silent for a while.</p><p>“<em>Dream…</em>” Sapnap said seriously, which was rare for the youngest to do, “Discord ..”</p><p>Dream never liked seeing his two best friends seriously, it was always a bad sign. Dream donated with the following caption: <em> Can't talk now... I'm in the middle of something important  </em></p><p>“What's so important?” George asked looking away from the camera, and looking at what Dream thought was one of his monitors, he is also serious... But he is trying to disguise it.</p><p>Another donation: <em> Something I haven't done for a while... </em></p><p>“<em>Porn?</em>” Sapnap asked and George shouted, “My ears George!”</p><p>One more donation: <em> No, what's your problem?! I am having a movie session with my sister! </em></p><p>Dream left the application, closed the audio of the live logo, blocking the phone screen, and placing the air-pods next to the cell phone on the coffee table. Just in time for the bell to ring, he got up and went to the door... He was going to open it when his sister threw herself in front of him and then pushed him back into the living room, she being the one to open the door.</p><p>Dream sat on the couch in time to notice his cell phone vibrating on the table, after picking it up and seeing the thousands of message notifications that Sapnap kept sending. Rolling his eyes, he decides to turn off his cell phone, not wanting to be annoyed by Nick. Soon turning their attention to the TV while his sister sat beside him, both were able to eat their snacks while watching the movie that Drista had chosen.</p><p>He looks at the sister next to him who seems to be happy, he smiles as he looks back at the TV.</p><p>
  <strike> <em> It will be good to have Drista here with me... </em> </strike>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strike> <em> Cold... Why do I feel so cold... </em> </strike>
</p><p>Dream opened his eyes to just see that he was surrounded by water, not only surrounded but underwater. Starting to despair and this causing air bubbles to escape through your mouth and nose. The more he moved, the more bubbles rose and as a result of his despair, he began to drown.</p><p>
  <strike> <em> Is this how I die? </em> </strike>
</p><p>He wondered as he felt his eyes weigh, which somehow confused him. After all, why is he in the ocean and drowning?</p><p>"<em>Hey...</em>" A voice called in the middle of that darkness that was the sea, a familiar voice. But he didn't remember who that voice belonged to, "Dream"</p><p>Dream opened the eyes that were until now closed to face a pair of brown eyes that he knows so much... </p><p>
  <strike> <em> ... George... </em> </strike>
</p><p>He watched the slender figure of George, who was there in front of him. Dressed only in a blue blouse and sweatpants, what made Dream more confused is that... It looked like he was breathing underwater.</p><p>"It's time to wake up" George spoke again, his lips moving slowly.</p><p>Dream's vision has become completely blurred, water has invaded his lungs again and with a jump, he is no longer at the bottom of the ocean. He quickly looks around and only realizes that he is in his room, or rather in his bed; Running his hand over his face only to notice not only the sweat but also the tears and in fear, he asks himself:</p><p> </p><p>
  <strike> <em> Why was George in my nightmare? </em> </strike>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 03. Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dream looked at the sandwich and then at his sister before letting out a wheeze, which made Drista smile. But soon Dream's smile faded and his gaze became a little distant, which worried the least... She touched his brother's arm again, which brought him back to reality, making the same look at her and giving a small smile, which did not reach the eyes.</p><p>"Sorry... I'm a little distracted"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the delay in the chapter, I am suffering from school and I have a second story now!<br/>It was just what I had to say, now have a good read...<br/>:)</p><p>Tw// Mentions of suicidal thoughts</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p><em><strong>The wind kisses her breasts and unfolds in a wreath her great veils rising and falling with the waters; The shivering willows weep on her shoulder, the rushes lean over her wide, dreaming brow.</strong></em> - Ophelia by Arthur Rimbaud.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dream didn't go back to sleep after the nightmare, not when he could still feel the water in his lungs. So he decided to do something to distract himself, with that in mind he left his room and went to the end of the corridor... Towards his painting studio.</p><p>Turning on the light, his gaze soon fell on the easel that held the blank canvas, waiting for him. Leaning against the door and going towards the table that was there, Dream started looking at some of his old sketchbooks, hoping that a spark of inspiration would light up in his chest... But he could only focus on his nightmare; Which made him stare at the empty canvas, thus allowing himself to walk over to it and look at the paints and brushes that were on the small table next to the easel.</p><p>"<em>Hm...</em> <em>My nightmare</em>" He murmured while taking a brush and pouring paint on the palette, Dream remembered how to make the base for painting, and observing the red paint on the tip of the brush, he started to trace what was in his mind... <em>George.</em></p><p>Dream slid the brush over the canvas with a certain delicacy, his mind was far away while tracing the appearance that his best friend has... Soon he started tracing his lips. </p><p>
  <strike> <em> Small and pink. </em> </strike>
</p><p>His eyes wide and he slowly walked away from the screen, feeling the warmth of the blush that spread through his cheeks and ears... He couldn't look at the screen without feeling ashamed. Allowing himself to deposit the palette on the table still without looking at the base painting, he runs his hand through his hair as a sign of his shame and nervousness.</p><p>
  <strike> <em> Why did I think about George's lips? </em> </strike>
</p><p>He questioned himself as he left the studio - after turning off the light and closing the door to it - then heading towards the kitchen, questioning George and his nightmare again... Returning to reality he realizes that he is standing in front of the refrigerator that is open, blinking his eyes slowly as he tries to focus his thoughts, he decides to have a snack.</p><p>Dream stared at the sandwich already ready for at least 10 minutes before being startled by a touch on his arm, turning around with wide eyes he meets his sister's green eyes, who looked at him with a sleepy expression. He allows his heart to calm down before speaking to her while stroking the hair of the youngest.</p><p>"<em>Hey...</em> Is everything okay?" He asks with a worried look, after looking at the clock on the wall.</p><p>
  <strike> <em> 4:35 am... </em> </strike>
</p><p>"<em>Hm...</em> Yes, I'm just thirsty..." Drista answered the question and then looked at the plate with the sandwich on the counter, "Why were you staring at the sandwich? <em>Did he curse?</em>"</p><p>Dream looked at the sandwich and then at his sister before letting out a wheeze, which made Drista smile. But soon Dream's smile faded and his gaze became a little distant, which worried the least... She touched his brother's arm again, which brought him back to reality, making the same look at her and giving a small smile, which did not reach the eyes.</p><p>"<em>Sorry... I'm a little distracted</em>" He murmured after a few seconds in silence, stroked his sister's blond hair once again before walking away and taking the sandwich in hand right after taking a bite.</p><p>Drista watched Dream's back as she took the bottle of ice water from the refrigerator and while she drank her glass of water, she could still see the distant look her brother's eyes had acquired. Then leaving the glass on the counter and folding her arms, she looks at him in the most serious way possible while squinting in his direction.</p><p>"<em>Clay...</em>" Drista called out to him, but he didn't hear.</p><p>Drista had to call him five more times before he finally woke up from his reverie, she looked at him even more seriously... He looked at her confused while taking the last bites of the sandwich.</p><p>"Are you taking your medicine?" She asked seriously, and she could see her brother change his posture.</p><p>"<em>Yes...</em> They are up to date..." He replied while looking away to the right, and Drista smiled even more seriously.</p><p>"<em>Liar...</em>" Drista looked at him with a look of disappointment, Dream's eyes widened at his sister, "Why aren't you taking your meds?!"</p><p>"Drista <em>I'm</em> <em>not</em> lying! Why would I lie about my medications?!" He raised his voice a little, but not enough to scare his sister.</p><p>"<em>Liar!</em> I know when you lie, you look away!" She pointed her finger in the direction of his face, which made him take a step back... Dream never has seen her sister angry as she was at that moment, "You can even lie mom, but you don't lie me, <em>Clay Wastaken!</em>"</p><p>Dream was going to speak more but his sister quickly left the kitchen and soon disappeared after going up the stairs, he could only hear the door slam before he allowed himself to sit on the kitchen floor, rest his elbows on his knees and hide his face with his hands, while he felt tears streaming down his cheeks.</p><p>
  <strike> <em> What have I done... </em> </strike>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>In the following days, Drista had not left the room, which in a way worried Dream... She didn't even show up at lunch, but he always knocked on the door to say that he had left her food in the microwave. It was already night and he was already lying down again, moving from side to side in bed without being able to find an ideal position to get to sleep, then giving up and picking up the phone on the nightstand.</p><p>
  <strong>450 new messages from 4 conversations.</strong>
</p><p>Dream rolled his eyes when he saw who the messages were from, most of them were from George and Sapnap... Some from Dizzy asking about some things, and messages from his mother.</p><p>The last one made Dream afraid, soon opening the contact to read the messages better, a wave of relief washed over his body. </p><p>In the message, his mother said that he found other things about him in the attic and asked if he wanted her to bring them to him... He replied that he didn't need it and that tomorrow he would go and get it.</p><p>Which in a way scared Dream, after all...</p><p>He would have to leave the house after his face was revealed to the world. Dream ended up getting irritated by his thoughts, which made him get up from the bed and go to his computer... Moving the mouse to leave the computer in sleep mode, his gaze soon fell on a box still sealed at the foot of the table.</p><p>
  <strike> <em> The graphics tablet... </em> </strike>
</p><p>Dream took the box carefully and deposited it on the table, opening the other drawers of the table looking for something sharp to cut the seal, he remembers seeing a stylus in the studio. Leaving quickly and going to the end of the corridor he did not notice Drista standing at the foot of the stairs, she was watching him closely... After all, she was worried about him, even though she knew he was back to taking his medication on time.</p><p>Many don’t know that Drista has a Twitter and follows his brother and his fandom. Then the day she saw the images of her brother's face on her timeline, his silence, among other things... She feared for the worst, after all, Dream has severe depression.</p><p>So the moment she saw him lock himself in his room with a stylus and didn't have noticed her there; she feared for her brother's life... But she stayed there, frozen with wide eyes. Not knowing where the courage came from, she ran to Dream's door and knocked on it in desperation, while she felt her cheeks get wet because of the tears that flowed from them… Dream opened the door confused, then looking at Drista who hugged him hiding the face on his belly.</p><p>"<em>Dri?</em>" Dream asked astonished to see that the girl was crying violently, "What happened?"</p><p>Drista couldn't speak because of the sobs that escaped his lips... Which only worried Dream more, who took her sister in her arms and cuddled her like a baby.</p><p>"A nightmare?" He asked and Drista denied it while still hiding his face, now in the curve of his brother's neck. Dream looked around more worried, and it was when his eyes fell on the stylet, causing the gears of his mind to connect.</p><p>His sister must have seen him quickly enter the room with the little knife in hand, and soon thought that he would end his life... Dream hugged his sister a little tighter. </p><p>
  <strike> <em>Is it worth ending this pain in my chest? Would everyone be better off if I wasn't here anymore? How would the world react if I did this? How would they react when they heard that the famous Youtuber DreamWastaken committed suicide?</em> </strike>
</p><p>
  <strike> <em>What am I thinking... I have to take care of my mother and sisters. I cannot disappoint them, I would never forgive myself if I made them cry because of me.</em> </strike>
</p><p>"<em>Dri, I'm not going anywhere...</em>" Dream whispered which made the girl pay attention to him, "I was just going to open a box... I'm <em>not</em> going to leave you and Mom alone."</p><p>Drista pulled his face away from Dream's neck and looked at him.</p><p>"<em>Promise?</em>" She asked him in a little voice as she raised her pinky, which made her smile a little in his direction.</p><p>"I promise..." Dream replied as she linked her pinky with her sister's, after both had made the promise Dream kissed the top of her sister's blond hair, "It's late... Why don't you go back to sleep?"</p><p>"Okay..." She got out of Dream's lap and arms who just watched her, headed for the door.</p><p>"You can stay here if you want..." Dream said after getting up from the bed on which he hadn't even realized he was sitting, "I'm going to be streaming..."</p><p>"You will make noise while playing..." Drista replied, as he approached his bed, then throwing himself into it.</p><p>Dream looked at her and laughed as he shook his head, then sat down on the chair.</p><p>"Who said I was going to play?" Dream said before opening the clip studio, then picking up the pen from the table. Drista looked at him confused, even before her gaze fell on the graphics tablet.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em> "I going to draw…" </em>
</p>
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